Hi Everyone,
We really appreciate the cheerful e-mails and phone calls and the gentle reminders to get caught up on our blogging. So here goes (from Robin’s perspective:
My health has definitely shifted, and not in a good way. I am grateful for very short visits, (about 30 minutes max) but love getting e-mails and letters of any length, (but you may or may not get a response from me).
Geoff and Ada are nursing, feeding, helping, and making bread. Franck is my physio guy. We all want, and plan for me to stay at home, but this requires a lot of work and everyone is pretty tired. My fatigue levels are very high, as would be expected at this stage of my cancer.
A terrific food team has ben organized to bring in meals from time to time; you know who you are. Thank you.
Community and palliative care has been superb. Ottawa is a good city to die in, but I still cannot quite accept that this is happening.
Where is that miracle I need? Oh right, that miracle has already happened - I’m still here, much longer than anyone expected. And I am very grateful for this chance to really connect with my family and friends and to express our love for each other.
I have had a wonderful, fulfilling life. No regrets, except maybe that Geoff and I might have travelled more, with or without our kids.
I am not in pain, but the opiates are making me groggy and forgetful.
All for now, Robin
13 comments:
Thanks for this; it is more than I would ever have expected. You are allowing us all to slowly learn to cope with not having you.
I will never be ok that you are not here, but your words help me to face this reality and adjust a little bit at a time. Even in these precious times, you keep giving Robin. Will I ever be so generous? I hope I have learned this exquisite lesson from you.
"Where is that miracle I need? Oh right, that miracle has already happened - I’m still here, much longer than anyone expected."
Thank you...
Leesa
Dear Robin
Just read your posted message of November 16. It is so "Robin-esque": courageous, lucid, looking squarely at the unspeakable, while maintaining your cheerful combativeness. Real Bouchard and I were very moved by our brief visit with you on November 11. Bon courage!
Greetings Robin - I have found my way to your blog, and I am so glad that I have. It was great to see you in the hospital, and I am pleased to hear that things are going well at home. You are truly an amazing lady with an amazing family. Thinking of you.... Olga
"As Love
you are seated in the heart of all Beings
and they in yours." Papaji
Peace to your sweet heart.
Love,
Linda
Hi Robin,It has been wonderful to have you in my life.You are an amazing person with a hugh heart and a kind sole.My heart goes out to you.You are a remarkable person. Love your Sister-inlaw Cindy
Dear Robin and Geoff,
I've sent an MP3 of myself playing the oboe - keep the volume down and play it later in the day. Otherwise it's like bagpipes for breakfast - an acquired taste! I'll keep practicing.
My offer stands to be there for your kids whenever they need me, especially those events when a Mom is so important. I can't be you, but I can be someone who knew their mom well.
Loving you always,
Colleen Goodrich
OMG Colleen! "Bagpipes for breakfast" --- was this a compliment on cousin Doug's great skills as Bagpiper extraordinaire -- or have you and your oboe taken over? Just wondering. Nothing like a little Hummason competitive spirit to get things rocking, or is that blowing?
You, Carrie and Gordon are the best siblings one could ask for. You're circling the wagon, so to speak and wrapping Robin in your arms. How sweet it is.
Love,
Linda
Dear Robin,
We think of you and your wonderful family often. You have been inspiring over these past years, and continue so. You have set the bar awfully high for the rest of us, but all we can do is admire you and wish we'd had you with us for much, much longer.
Cousin Doug
PS. What, may I ask is wrong with bagpipes for breakfast??
Hi Robin...
Just thinking of you and a line from a song: "its not what you're given but what you do with what you've got". It astounds me that you've been given the raw end of the stick so to speak and yet you've turned it around and given so much love, laughter, insight, drive, hope, and inspiration to those by you, with you, near and dear to you. You are an amazing woman. I miss sharing wicked giggles over g and t's with you. x Juanita
From Robin: It is so hard to leave all of you. I have my moments of insight but they were all taught to me and sometimes the hard way, making mistakes, apologizing. Each of you has some special special beauty. Ok this is starting to sound like a Hallmark card. Just so you know, no pain, lots of fatigue.
Love, Robin (esque). Ok to drop by, Ada and Geoff are my guardians.
Leesa and Cousin Doug both said things so well, I couldn't really improve on them. Robin, you and your family have all been so inspiring, and I have total admiration for you all. I will hold your family in my thoughts for the rest of my life. I wish you a peaceful transition into the next stages of your journey. Passing with love in your heart is the best thing, and I've no doubt you are capable of that. You have touched the lives of so many people, perhaps especially so with the sharing you have done in these blogs, as you have faced (and fought) the Great Inevitable. All blessings and love to you and your family. - Cousin Nancy
Only your body is dying. And connections are never severed.
Dear Robin
We are so full of admiration and inspiration for the way you live your life. Cancer too often leaves no escape, and yet you have found freedom and meaning through the love that you give to all that you do and to all those you touch. And that never dies , as others have said.
Take care
With all our love
Peter, Sophie, Christopher and Jeanna
Robin, you and Geoff will appreciate this: I received a pelvic ultrasound report from the Ottawa General the other day. It was far more detailed in its description of pelvic "quadrants" than any I have ever seen before. You have changed how they are reporting these ultrasounds and that is wonderful. Yet another mark that your enthusiasm and determination have left on the world. Ottawa is a better place because of you. Thank you, Robin, and may the next few weeks be filled with peace, love, family and friends.
Love and hugs,
Sarah O
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